Last week, after sharing some suggestions to deal with stress, I got a few interesting questions and thoughts from one of my staff that I want to share with you here, along with my thoughts. These are not easy to answer questions for anyone I would say. The other issue is that some things that work for this one person may not work for the other person.
- “I always believe that to achieve magical things in life, we always have to set higher levels for ourselves and try our best to achieve those. I think that you would still agree with me about this point.” <– The more I grow up, the more I realize that while setting crazy goal can help us to focus, people usually mistakenly between set the right goals and set the unrealistic goal. Furthermore, the paradox is also there. In order to set a right goal, you need to have wisdom. At the same time, wisdom is not just coming from knowledge and thinking. It’s also coming from doing, experiencing things (through both failure and success). So, at first, usually you don’t know the right goal, rather than that you usually set for yourself those unrealistic goals. Yet, from failing those goals, you learn a lot. And you become better in setting the right goals the next times. If you can see the meaning of those failures, un-expectation, disappointment, tiredness, you can learn and grow a lot. If you don’t view it as lessons, you’ll get a lot of stress. So if you accept it, learn from it and do it better the next time, I don’t think stress would be that “sticky” with you.
- “Do you know where the limitation of the greed of a human being should be?” Well, I would say that greed doesn’t bring you any long-run, sustainable happiness. The great thing greed can do is to pollute your mind big time. So, where is the limitation? It is the limitation.
- “Besides that, when I get to a higher level, a new position, I always feel tired to ‘protect’ that position.” Protecting your position or not is purely your choice. If you select to protect it, you’ll get a lot of pressure then. And look… it’s not necessary be that way. You try protecting it because you’re attached to it. But remember, position is very temporary in your life. The president yesterday can become the prisoner today. So, what’s the point to attached to it? Also, it is certainly not the root to happiness to your life. So, why do you want to protect and attach to that? IMO, it’s not the wise thing to do. I think the better question to ask is that “How can I fulfil my roles in that position and at the same time to have a great relationship with my co-workers, my clients, my family?” I would challenge you with that question.
- “Could you give an advise? What is the true opinion that we should have whenever we get to a higher level, a new position?” Positions, responsibilities are the things that we may need to take in this life, depending on opportunities and our capabilities. And if it doesn’t harm anybody (even yourself), why not taking the higher position? Be sure to ask the question about what is the meaning and purpose of this “taking more responsibilities” to you? If it is for your greed, for your fame, you may want to think twice. But if it is for you to positively contribute more to the happiness of people around you, including you, then why not? And certainly, from that purpose you will know what to do (certainly not to protect your position).
- “Do believe that there’s a real-life Forrest Gump?” I like this movie a lot. But I stop re-watching it for a long time. I don’t remember in details. But I do remember the pure/true/unconditional love of the man for his wife and his daughter. If you can have that true love, everything will happen. And I believe that there are such those true loves around us.
BTW, I live my life very simple. And I don’t aim for any “magical things in life”. That may not help me to become Steve Jobs or the like. But I’m happy with not being some Steve Jobs. I’m happy with my journey toward happiness and spiritual development. That’s more important to me.