Question: How to build good relationships with colleagues who are busy and not often talk to each other?

This is the question I was asked during a talk I gave to Seed the Future Program organized by Shinhan Future’s Lab Vietnam. You can watch the full talk here: 8 + 1 ENTREPRENEUR THINGS TALK.

Question: We have another question from Ms. Van Hoang. I think it’s a very common issue with everyone, like how we can build good relationships with our colleagues, when everyone are busy and do not often talk to each other?

Answer: It’s like the chicken egg. Right? And then, especially in my world, it’s about technical. I used to be a programmer. Meaning that give me the laptop, give me the machine, leave me alone, let me do the work, I don’t want to talk. Right? Something like that. So that’s me before. But then, the more I grow up and then the more I think that this is not working. It’s not working. It’s about talking to people. It’s about communication. Right? Communication is one of the kind of like critical skill for survival. But somehow we don’t learn it well. I mean… Communication skill for me, then I need to practice and work on that for my whole lifetime. Even now, I’m still working on it. But then the more that I advance the communication skill, then the better I can approach people and then let people to approach me as well. So, the first thing I would recommend is that work on your communication skill. It’s not that easy. Communication is not about talking. It first starts with listening. So if you can listen well, you would be very powerful to people around you. People would want to talk to you. So it would address the issue of that people don’t talk, right? Because they don’t like to talk to people that they don’t like, right? But if you can really listen, you can really care about them, they would talk. (If) it’s not verbally, then they would send a message. So that’s the one of the key areas: communication.

But the next thing is that it’s about your acts, it’s about your talking, it’s about your thinking that would help people to trust you or not, to open the door to people not. For example, you meet me today for the first time over Zoom, meaning that you’re seeing my face. You are hearing my talking. It sounds like this guy can trust, right? I believe that. I mean, usually when I go out, then people would have the first-time trust in me very high. But then that’s very, very on the surface. It’s very, very shallow. Right? If you really (want to) trust me, then you need to watch me over the next six or 12 months. What do I do? Do I do the things that I talk. Or I talk one way and I do the other way, right? That’s for my partner. And they watch me like every day, every month, every year, until the point of time that they see that this guy can be trustable. Then that’s the time it open all the door to connect people, to build team. So, it’s how you live (and) your communication, it can help to open that door. And you don’t have a lot of options, but you have to really talk to people, if you want to become an entrepreneur or a leader.

Viet Hung | A Happiness pursuer | Author of The Happiness Journal, Tản mạn về Hạnh phúc and NGẪM CAFÉ 
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